Therapist for Reactive Attachment Disorder:

Barbara Robinson, LCSW: (208) 612-2272

Attachment Disorders, Autism and Asperger

Attachment Disorders:

One of the most important discoveries of science in the past 50 years is that infants and children need to feel safe, loved and valued. If they are not they will become emotionally and physically ill. Failure to thrive is a result of a lack of physical and emotional nurturing. Infants must bond to someone so that their brain will develop properly and so that they can have normal pro-social relationships as they grow. Attachment disorder has many different levels of severity. Some are very severe ending with death of the infant or the person becoming a killer, while others are quite mild.

The relationship between the infant and it’s primary care taker (usually mother), has a profound impact on nearly all aspects of the child’s future life. If this child is to be emotionally healthy it must feel that it can make it’s needs known and have those needs met. The child’s needs are not just physical of course, but emotional as well.

The primary cause of attachment problems is neglect. Parents who abuse drugs or alcohol, have mental health problems, suffer with emotional problems, experience chronic marital problems or severe stress, or who can not place the needs of their child above their own for any reason put their child at high risk for future problems in school, marriage, society and especially as a future parent. The ability to attach is a primary requirement in order to be an adequate parent.

It is on this relationship of trust upon which all children will build their future relationships. Without this foundation their relationships will crumble since trust is key to any relationship and they trust no one. Treatment is possible but prevention is much easier.

Placing a child in inadequate day care, especially as an infant, can cause severe behavioral and emotional problems. Idaho law allows licensed day care providers to care for 6 infants at one time with no assistance. If a person wants to care for 5 infants they don’t even need to be licensed. If a child is in day care for and average of over 6 hours a day they must bond to the day care provider. In many cases the provider will not allow this to happen. Saving a dime on day care today may cost society and parents thousands of dollars in the future. Most violent criminals and a large number of those in the ever growing prison system have attachment problems.

To avoid attachment problems parents should nurture their infants with communication and touch. Parents need to build self-esteem in a child by responding to its cries for help and thus letting it know that it has some control over its life and that it is important. Never leave you child with someone that will abuse or neglect it. Do your homework. If you must use day care and work make sure your infant is bonding to a provider. Do not change providers if at all possible.

Symptoms of attachment problems: (Not all problems will be present)

Extremely manipulative                    Poor peer relationships
Cruel to animals                               Lack of conscience
Not affectionate to mother               Makes false allegations of abuse
Poor impulse control                        Inappropriately demanding/ clingy
Chronic crazy lying                          Goes out of control if held down
Superficially charming                      Argues consistently “little lawyers”
Lack of eye contact                         They are unusually defiant
Learning lags and disorders               They cause parents to be angry
Sneaky                                           They are often lonely
Triangulates adults                           They are often intelligent
Persistent chattering                        Learning disabilities

For more information on this subject consult the following books and websites.

There are books and videos available at the Rigby City Library that are available to anyone on this subject even without a city library card through The Children’s Mental Health Council. All local councils also loan out videos to help with attachment problems in the home and the schools.

Autism and Asperger

Materials from the SDE Idaho Summit on Autism Spectrum Disorders developed over the past 2 years are now available on the SDE web site at: http://www.sde.state.id.us/specialed/content/mentalhealth.asp#autism

The summit and subcommittee work involved personnel from SDE, parents, school districts, IDHW, private providers, and advocacy groups. Here are the applicable listings at that site:

Guides

Autistic Spectrum Disorder A Guide to Best Practices for Screening, Diagnosis and Assessment Click here for Guide: (PDF)
Effective Interventions Fact Sheet Click here for Guide: (PDF)
Effective Program Components Fact Sheet Click here for Guide: (PDF)

The ASD guide to screening, diagnosis and assessment is organized by age groups, birth through age 5 and age six and older.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) is pleased to announce the
release of the Autism Research Network (ARN) Website:
www.autismresearchnetwork.org and www.autismresearchnetwork.org

Suggestions for working with children with Attachment and Asperger's problems at home and in the schools.

Do's

1. Use action not anger. Watch for facial expressions and prevent problems.

2. Have a good plan. The plan should be comprehensive.

3. Be adaptable: If a change is needed consult with the team and make a change.

4. Use energy to praise real accomplishments.

5. Hold students accountable. It's the kind thing to do. These children feel safer when they see adults as powerful and in control.

6. Give consequences the first time. You don't need to treat these children the same to do what is fair and right for them. Ask for written apology. Assign chores. Send them to the thinking chair in the hall before they act out.

7. Give conditional praise. False praise is seen as manipulation. General praise is seen as a lie. You are a great kid, will not be believed.

8. Care about the child. It is appropriate to state; It's too bad you made that decision, maybe you'll choose better next time. Be sincere.

9. Maintain a calm demeanor. Don't let them get your goat.

10. Fight the battles you can win. Saying no, when you can't stop them undermines your authority.

11. Communicate with parents.

a. Support parents emotionally. Tell them you understand it must wear them out to deal with these problems on and on.

12. Ask for help with this student. If you have to many needy students it is not realistic to be able to meet all their needs.

13. Work as a team. Communicate with all staff and parents regularly.

Don'ts
1. Show no anger or observable frustration. They know what you are thinking so you must be emotionally calm inside.

2. Give no second chances. Feel good about doing what's best for this child. Doing the right thing and feeling sorry for the child at the same time defeats the effectiveness of the discipline. They will read your heart.

3. Give no bribes. They will manipulate you until the price is too high.

4. Give no special reminders or lectures. They are smart and do understand.

5. Don't argue with students. This is their attempt to manipulate and control you. Deflect their arguments with; regardless or never the less and add. What did I ask you to do? End with; I respect you too much to argue with you.

6. Don't be alone with these children. They will lie about you.

7. No motherly nurturing. Bonding is not your job, just be a powerful authority figure who really cares. Control how they touch you.

8. Never doubt that they know right from wrong or what the rules really are. Treat them like they are smart. I forgot or I didn't know is rarely true.

9. Don't let them be in control. It's all about control. They will feel safer if all adults are in control and they can not manipulate. Team, team, team.

10. Never try to hold them down. Share power with them by offering your hand.

11. Don't let them steal, lie, hurt others or break rules without consequences.